My first "Oh No" moment.
And, by "Oh No" I mean..."Holy-nut-busting-mother-of-pearl-you've-got-to-be-kidding-me."
Nobody really gave me the 411 on just how bad it gets when having your first child. I mean… I heard the stories, and of course I read lots of books, but I see now that to fully comprehend beforehand the inevitable hardship that attends a new mother is unrealistic. Each person and experience is different and therefore, responses and definitions of "hardship" will vary.
This post is intended to enlighten the "mommy virgins", and is also a means to vent my scary story (brace yourselves, this will get ugly). The things that completely unhinged me during the first 4 months of new motherhood could very possibly happen to you if and when you decide to become a mother...
So, Here's my list of FOUR "DOs" that can help you prevent some of the anguish in your own potential horror stories. Ready?
1. DO get an epidural if you so fancy. -- If you're going for “all natural” (as I was), I applaud and salute you. I tried my darndest… but my body did not respond well… meaning I wouldn't dilate until I got the drugs. Let's talk severe contractions, people. For those of you who have sprained an ankle, torn a ligament, broken a bone, or say… fallen off a cliff and survived? …just know that severe birthing contractions are far worse and last a lot longer than any intense pain you've probably ever experienced or could imagine. Severe contractions have the intensity of menstrual cramps x 1000 and last for about a whole minute. And they happen over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over... and over again for hours on end! Finding my “happy place” or “zen” if you will, through such hell was practically impossible. **A TIP-- To my “no-drugs” women...If your contractions have you doubled-over, clenching or cursing at anything within your reach, for more than 10 hours and you're not dilated past a 3? This means you should get the epidural. :)
2. DO take a breastfeeding class! --I know it sounds lame guys, but I hear it makes a world of difference-- far beyond what any book by itself can do. Breast Feeding comes naturally to a seldom few and more often comes with difficulty to most. This is what I heard and in hindsight? I had NO idea what that really entailed. Yeah, I read. I memorized. I prepared. It was going to be fine. Or so I thought. I will tell you right now that breast feeding for me was worse than labor. No joke. Knowing you have to keep exposing your bloody, raw nipples to a hungry mouth so that you won’t lose your milk supply, OR so that your breasts don't become solid hard rocks will make any grown woman wanna curl up in a ball and cry for their own mama. The key? Your baby needs an awesome “latch-on” in order to avoid what I went through… so either become good friends with lanolin (for the raw nipples... which doesn't do much anyway if baby isn't latching on correctly) or take the class… PRIOR to baby's arrival. (OR you can also ask for the breastfeeding specialist that most hospitals have… they surpass any nurse). AND REMEMBER! Breast is best… so be a trooper ‘cause formula is a pooper!
3. DO have your mother, mother-in-law, or SOMEBODY help!!!
--I can’t emphasize this enough. And by help, I mean, cook for you, clean for you, wake up in the middle of the night with you… and YOUR HUSBAND doesn’t count. If you’re breastfeeding (and I hope you will), EXPECT TO BE SLEEP-DEPRIVED for weeks!! I had a total of 9 hours of sleep within the first 3 days of bringing Max home… a recipe for disaster. I almost fell down while holding my baby! Another tip? Sleep when baby sleeps. Don’t get tempted to always get stuff done while baby is snoozing, you will regret this if you do.
And lastly…
4. DO drink LOTS AND LOTS of water and consume LOTS of fiber while breastfeeding! --That means a total of at LEAST 128 oz of water a day. And fiber? Well, just eat a lot of it! Ever hear of a rectal fissure? Say what?! Wait, isn’t this one about making sure mommy’s breasts are filled with all the nutrition baby will need? No, that’s only half of it. A rectal fissure, my friends, is a tear...down there. If you do not take in an ample amount of water and fiber on a daily basis??...basically your #2’s will tear you a new one. I had a rectal fissure for about 4 months and I would cry each time I had to go. There are no words. All the creams, squirt bottles, and antibiotics in the world will not heal your bum if you are not following my water/fiber advice. I even had a co-worker (bless her heart) who I found crying on shift one day because of the same problem… only hers got worse. She actually needed surgery. I decided to spare you of any visual aids the internet has to offer, but remember that no matter how small or trivial a tear may seem, do everything you can immediately to change your situation or it will get even uglier fast. So do yourself a favor…guzzle water and inhale whole grains and produce. This will totally save you.
So after all that, guys, let me say that it gets a lot better after the first few months, I promise. If you can remember the basics of this list, I honestly think you'll cut out a huge chunk of pain as a first-time mom!
And before you know it, fun-filled times are here and never seem to end!
9 comments:
Good timing Jess. I needed to review some of that advice for my second time around - which is coming soon and I'm so much more nervous this time because I WENT THROUGH ALL OF THAT and I know what I'm up against. Ugh. Armando and I are both a little more afraid this time. Sounds backwards, huh? Yep.
Hee hee, that sounds like great advice. I can't wait to use that advice someday! Hopefully someday soon.
Ahhhh! you make me want to be a mommy again!!!
I'm loving those pictures you posted, Maxwell looks so different already!
What can I say:
My goal/plan was to "enjoy" contractions at home and then get to the hospital just to deliver the baby...and I did, when I got to the hospital I was dialated to almost 8...whooohoo for me, but I love how you describe them, contractions are exactly THAT!, my friend. Perfectly described.
Wow, Tania... that's amazing! Although... that IS cutting it really close to having your child in the car! hehe. Hopefully my next time around my cervix won't be such a pain (bahdum boom ching!)and I can experience it drug-free.
Thanks for sharing some of your great mommy wisdom! I'll have to remember it all when I need to use it in the future!
You have thoroughly freaked me out of ever wanting children! Although I am sure I will have amnesia when see a cute little baby ;)
i've loved watching you be a mom. you look beautiful as a mommy. and i will remember your advice when i finally get knocked up.
Mari, Nicolette, Lisa, and Bek, I can't wait for you all to be mommies. I wanna hear about all YOUR stories and experiences... see what your babies look like... and best of all hear how it's changed you... because it will. and that's a beautiful thing... pain and all. :)
(Bek, I know the father of your children is out there. And when he finds you, you'll both know it. that's my story and i'm sticking to it).
awww, those are marvelous pictures. and can I get an amen? Haha. Of course I was a total mommy virgin at friggin 19 but I wised up fast. my question is after going through all that, why do we do it again and again????
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